If an adult is treating you badly, then you shall tell him that you won´t accept this treatment any longer and that you expect from that person that he is going to apologize and that he shall do something nice for you. If this person is not immediately ready for a reasonable conversation, you shall leave the place. Now this person is able to peacefully reflect about the problem.
If he continues to treat you badly, you have to ask other adults for help. If the first asked person is not ready to help you, you must ask other adults for help. You have to continue asking one grownup after the other untill you find someone, who is ready to help.
Ask this person to discuss with other adults how to help the child abuser, which I am calling Flack now for the purpose of simplicity. The adults shall not shout at Flack and shall not blame him. Probably Flack will now be in need to talk about his own problems and own childhood before he is able to reflect about the pain he has caused to you.
These are only suggestions from me. One must of course adapt ones behavior to the situation and the persons involved. Penalties result, according to my experience, rarely in an improvement. Children will not become better people, if they are getting severely punished and the same is true for adults. No one is going to regret his own behavior, if he feels punished too harshly. If there is a lack of love and compassion in a relationship, one is not able to improve this relationship by putting negative emotions and a negative behavior and attitude into the relationship.
This doesn´t mean that you should think, "If I am going to offer Flack enough love and compassion, he will probably change" or "if I had given Flack a greater amount of love and compassion, he wouldn´t have treaten me so badly." It is not the business of a minor to help an adult with his problems. This adult would not take you seriously, and you do not have the wisdom that is needed to understand a person who is much older than you. The only help you can give to Flack is to ask an adult to help him. It is advisable to have several people talking together with Flack. If one person is talking alone to him, he will probably not listen and will most probably even hurt this person.
With a person who treats others poorly, it is not to be trifled with. Nonetheless you have to try to help this person and to avoid punishment for him.
Most probably are you in great need of help now, due to the aggressions that you have built up because of Flack. I hope that you will find a good therapist with the help of adults.
Of course we all find ourselvese sometimes in a bad mood and we are all committing a lot of mistakes. Most of the missteps we just have to forgive. These points I have written mainly for minors who have been treated very badly for a long time.
Another thing I want to mention. You have a right to have your own room. If an adult wishes to visit you in the room, he must knock before entering. Probably it is also advisable that you refuse to be alone in a room or car with Flack. Maybe you think now that one must somehow offend Flack, because he has caused so much suffering for you. The only problem is that this person will then get the impression that a harsh behavior is an acceptable behavior. In most cases, an adult shows an unacceptable behavior, because he himself has been hurt in his childhood. There is no need to show him how one feels when one has been hurt. He must rather be reminded about how he felt when he had been treated badly. Always keep in mind that your body, your room, even your whole life only belong to you alone.
It is never acceptable that one is treating another human being offensive, and one should never accept an insulting treatment. Even in situations in which one as a victim is unable to escape the perpetrator, one is still able to pray and / or to affirm. Even in this situation you have to be convinced that you deserve a better life and that soon everything will turn to good. After every rain the sunshine is returning.
Under no circumstances, you must accept the fact that another person puts the responsibility for his well being into your hands. As soon as someone says something that sounds about like, "if you do this or that, then you are distroying my life and I'm going to hurt myself because of this," you must seek help immediately. This can end in a real disaster. So if you are slid into a spiral of negative behavior with Flack, then you must, as soon as possible and as intense as possible scream for help. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to get you out of this hell.
I wish you much happiness in your relationship with other people. I would also like to thank you for reading this article. It is really very important to me that we meet each other with love, understanding and respect and that we are all as happy as possible.
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